20 posts tagged “life”

Week 6-10 is a critical point in this pregnancy for me. After week 10 I'll feel a little better about breathing easy. Too bad that's a whole month away. It's going to be a lot of anxiety.

I'm still feeling sick in the morning and at night - good sign. Tonight I'm feeling a little cramping, normal, and I'm EXHAUSTED. I could have gone to bed the second I got home if it had been alright with Mike. It wasn't. Dinner to be made and then dishes to be washed. Laundry to do...blah blah blah. Someday I'm going to need a break more than I do now so I'll cash those freebees in later.

Work has been very hard to get through. I have about 3 hours of energy which kicks in from 9-12. Too bad one of those hours is lunch!

Wow! This week almost feels like it didn't exist.

Work has been my main priority. I've started training and it has been an eye opening experience. There's a lot to do in regards to making the work conditions better and get in compliance with new initiatives. I'm overwhelmed but really excited about what's to come. I'm happy to be part of the change...lets put it that way.

My first school week came and went. I did pretty well and my second week has started. Honestly, with my new 12 hour work days I've not done very well at starting but I'm hoping to get on it this afternoon while grandpa and grandma take Nathan for some fishing and an overnight stay.

Nathan is doing well. He's just moving along until preschool starts in 2 weeks. He's very excited and I know he's going to do just fine. They seperate the kids by ages (Nate is in the oldest class) and he's going to be a Frog. He tells this to everyone he meets. It's pretty cute.

Today is my husband's 29th birthday! We'll be hanging out with a friend of his later this afternoon and we're all supposed to go camping. I might just forgo the camping (reaching the low 40s tonight) and catch up on school work. I could really use some fun adult time though. It has just been an insane week.

The shop has been busy and I'm behind again in orders. I feel bad. I need to spend some time this morning with the admin part of everything and then get my booty on the couch and start making hats! I've been thinking of taking a small vacation to catch up on orders...lets see how much I get done this weekend.

I think that's it for now. It has just been a crazy life, but I love it.

I just finished this earflap hat tonight. It felt so good to play with colors and come up with something small and quick but also different then what I've been doing.

It's not that I don't love doing beanies, but I was getting burned out so I had to toss this into the mix. I've been working on a ton of custom orders and I just have one more to do before I'm done. Once I'm done I'll be back to updating Etsy regularly and blogging...doing what I can to get an order :) I've been really fortunate this month.

Speaking of fortunate...I've heard some great news that I'm going to be an AUNT again! My sister-in-law and her husband are adopting a little boy in November. His name will be Caleb. We're all so very happy for them, and totally excited to have another little boy in the crew.

Molly is doing well here and is getting more part of the family each day. She's also biting a lot now and had trouble picking on Nathan too much. She just loves him, but doesn't understand her own strength when it comes to the nipping...soon we will have classes to take care of that!

This weekend we're hanging out with friends, have a birthday party to attend, and I'll be working on the last custom order. Then I get to try out my new pattern for a diaper cover, beanie, and booties set!

I haven't written in so long! I have had such a crazy life these past few weeks and I feel like if I start to journal now it could take hours. I'll get as much out as possible before passing out to an early bedtime.

Lets start with the medical: Things are much better now. I feel just fine. I had a post operation appointment with the OBGYN and all he asked was "how are you?" I said I was fine and he sent me on my way. I'm not considered high risk, even though this is our second miscarriage. Apparently, you have to have two in a row for that to happen. He suggested I even see our family doctor next time we get pregnant. Alrighty then. So we're free to keep trying, which is what we're doing without the day counting and such. Still with an "if it happens great" attitude about the whole thing. Easier to deal with I guess.

Work has been fun. Without getting into too much detail, as I don't like to discuss work stuff online, I went to a conference on Social Responsibility and Sustainability. It was a good conference and I did learn some stuff. It was amazing to talk to people who are so involved in saving the earth. They have such a passion for it and long to make everyone else passionate as well. I left feeling very overwhelmed and like I wanted to purchase a Hummer. Don't get me wrong, I love the earth and I know we need to change our habits to prevent death by global warming but it was a little too much, all day long. The problem is so big, I got very overwhelmed. I am in charge of Earth Day at work and we are doing what we can to make people more aware. It is hard though when the change is more expensive. Does it make sense that using recycled containers and purchasing organic food is MORE expensive? After all, there is less processing and chemicals. From what I'm told, and I'm no expert, it's because the government doesn't help these companies at all and they're footing all the cost unlike their eco-unfriendly competitors. It's all confusing.

I'm praying for rain tonight. We sure need it! If we had some rain the green would come back. Though the snow has melted and it's in the 70s the green is still gone. One rain or two would fix that.

And with that, I'm exhausted. Time for some sleep and then one more day till work starts up again. Going to be a busy week and I need to be ready for it. 

If this emotional rollercoaster gets any worse, I’m going to scream.

I had a blood test done yesterday to conclude the whole miscarriage. What I was expecting was a phone call to say “Yep, you had a miscarriage…have fun trying again in a month or so.” However, what I got was “You know, you don’t make my job very easy. Your levels are up but not where they would be for where we tested you last week. I need to discuss with an OBGYN.”

I’m still pregnant. My hormones are just really low. So stupid Jessica decides to look what that means up on the internet. BAD IDEA. Things about Mole pregnancies (sperm fertilizes empty egg), ectopic pregnancies, and genetic defects appear on my computer. I turned it off after about 10 minutes because I was getting really upset.

Mike and I figure this is just like what happened last time. We’re starting to think either we didn’t have the miscarriage the last time and I just have low hormone levels (which explains the low birth weight with Nathan) or I miscarried a twin. Both are possible along with a variety of other things. I’m going to wait to hear from my doctor but we did tell Mike’s parents and mine.

We know there could be issues, but we’re excited for now. Nathan turned out just fine and so we’re going to use that as our basis until we hear anything else.

What's the most complicated part of your life right now?

I saw this and wanted to start bawling. You know what though...I'm not sure much about my life is complicated. Just very stressful.

I've been MIA around here lately and it's mostly because what I'm going through isn't really blogging material. It isn't really something I can put into words.

The husband and I have made the decision that we're ready to have another baby, should it happen. I'm not taking my temps and calculating days till I ovulate but I might not have to. I have this strange feeling I'm already pregnant. First time out the gate and BAM. Problem is, I can't test until end of the week and expect an accurate result. So, I wait. Driving myself insane. You know what will be really bad? If I'm not pregnant. Because I know I will drive myself insane every month until it happens.

Lucky for me there are moments in the day where I can just fade away into other thoughts. Work is especially good for that right now. I'm busy. Mostly because all the other departments are not. This is when I become useful. Process improvements are best done during the non-busy moments. It keeps me free from my baby obsessed thoughts for at least an hour, sometimes more at a time.

Then there is always my books. I've become an avid reader in the past month. I've devoured Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse, and now Breaking Dawn in weeks. It isn't that they are so wonderful. Sure they're good, but not the best ever. However, they keep the thinking at bay for sometimes HOURS at a time if Nathan will let me read that long. I don't know what I'm going to do once I'm done with the last book. Maybe some of the laundry that has gone unnoticed or the dishes piled in the sink. ::sigh:: party will be over.

Oh well. I can wait a few more days until the test will take. Hopefully then I'll have the motivation to really get the house in order and get crap accomplished. I also hope that I'll be able to take whatever the result is and keep going instead of doing this to myself over and over and over.  

Mike and I have a serious problem keeping anything from each other. This is the reason we normally do shopping for holidays the day of or the day before. Otherwise, we’ll give the gift way before we should.

At our last Christmas party Mike surprised me with a new-to-me Kayak. I was thrilled. It was the first time he’d EVER really surprised me and not spilled the beans before hand. It was really cool.

I was determined to do the same for him this Valentine’s Day.

I went on Ebay and found a great deal on a package of things for his new MP3 player: FM Transmitter, car charger, home charger, 2 skins, 2 arm bands and some other stuff all for $19 dollars! It was a steal. That and I knew he wanted to be able to charge it without a computer. So, I ordered it and yesterday it came.

When I got the mail I told Nathan that Daddy’s present came. I knew he would tell Mike that it came and then I’d get to tell him “nanna nanna nanna you can’t have it!” Just like he did with me before the Christmas party.

Nathan did as expected and Mike looks at me and says “Please can I have it? I really need something to charge my MP3 Player.”

Furious, I get the package and say “since you already know what it is…just take it!”

Well, he did know what it was but didn’t know all the other cool things I had gotten too. He felt pretty rotten about the whole thing. I would have too if I were in his shoes and I didn’t mean to make him feel that way but I was pretty ticked. Now, I’d have to go out and get something else for him.

Mike made me promise I wouldn’t get anything else saying all he really wanted was some much needed “us” time alone. That only made me cry more. By the time we get Nathan to bed and the household stuff livable…we go to sleep too. Not much us time happening. I guess we’ve both just been feeling that way, not just me. It’s nice to know that.

How do you feel about your birthday?  Do you look forward to it and remind all your friends, or do you dread it and try to keep it a secret?

Secretly, I get really excited about it because I hope that someone is taking time to make it special.

I'm usually dissapointed.

People are busy.

This year, I think I'm going to put something together myself. That way I know it's going to be good. However, it matters a lot less now that I have Nathan. I get more excited about HIS birthday than my own.

What do you do with the cards and letters you receive?  Do you keep them all, just keep the photos, throw them away? 
Inspired by jacolily.

I toss the cards. I used to keep them but I keep too much stuff and sometimes things just have to go. I keep them for a week or so and then it's "bye-bye". Photos I keep. I'll hang them on the fridge or bulletin board in my bedroom. I hate to toss photos out. I wouldn't want someone to just throw away pictures I sent them out.

Have you ever backed out on doing something you promised you'd do? Did you have a good reason for going back on your word? 
Submitted by enSue.

I've never actually done this...but I've really really wanted to a few times. I always end up telling myself I said I would do it for a reason and normally it's not as bad as I thought it would be.