3 posts tagged “sadness”

Oy vey.

This has been a pretty insane year. Half way through it I look back and with a sigh pray to God the rest of the year goes just as fast so we can start again. I'd love a redo at this point.

My dad continues to have heart troubles. Things have seemed to have stalled and we're still at the "do surgery or not do surgery" point. I am feeling blessed that things are not getting worse. I'm not sure I could handle it.

My husband went in for an end to end urethraplasty. It sounds as horrible as it is. Basically, they had to remove part of the tubing and put it back together again. He was on bed rest for almost 2 weeks after and in lots of pain. The catheder is out but he's still very sore.

My father-in-law went in for a heart cath and they were just gong to look around...but they found a blockage that closed off 95% of his main artery. They said it was not IF but WHEN he had a heart attack, it would have been devistating. He had a stint inserted today and SHOULD be out of the hospital tomorrow.

Finally, my mom just emailed me with the news that my Aunt has just been diagnosed with throat cancer. Same thing my grandfather had that killed him. She's been told they can't operate on it and it is basically incureable. They did tell her they would try radiation and chemo but after seeing what that did to my grandfather, she's not sure she wants to do that. I'm not sure how long she would have otherwise, but it wouldn't be a guarentee. I could hear the pain my mother was going through in the email and I thank God I'll be there soon to comfort her. My mom is 4 years younger than my aunt but they are VERY close. This is not going to be easy for my mom...or for the family.

Too many medical issues this year. I'm ready for some good news. My best friend was out last week and it recharged me with some positive energy. I get to see my parents and family this weekend so that will help too. It always amazes me how bad news just seems to be followed by more bad news. The saying "when it rains, it pours" is exactly the way things have been going. I'm looking for a little sunlight and perhaps even a rainbow! 

We lost the baby. My hormone levels have decreased pretty low. I go in tomorrow for an appointment with the OBGYN for an exam and D&C.

I took it very hard and had to leave work a little early. I didn't tell anyone I was leaving. I just left. Only 30 min early so that's not bad. I'll be out tomorrow, of course, to get things settled and according to people I've talked to I'll be back in the office Wednesday. Hopefully, not just physically but emotionally as well.

Mike will be there to support me. I'm thankful for him. The in laws are going to watch Nathan tomorrow too so that will be helpful. I have a lot to do before I leave for Vegas on Thursday, dealing with all of this sure doesn't help right now but I know Vegas will be good for me. A few days in some warm weather will do me good about now.

We're keeping our head up and looking forward to trying again once I'm all better. Nothing like a few rocks in the road to remind you what your blessings are.

It is day 4 without dairy. Actually, that’s not entirely true as I’m not really giving up baked goods (I think I had a cookie one day and giving up chocolate is ridiculous) but I haven’t had cheese or milk in the last 4 days and I really think it is helping. I heard dairy was really bad for people who had fibromyalgia and I’m moderately lactose intolerant (especially when I mix dairy like ice cream and pizza)so I decided to kick it. I’m really staying away from anything milky (sauces or outright milk) or cheesy (even cheetos ::sniff sniff::). It will be good for my calorie intake as well, I’m sure. So far, I haven’t suffered any real signs of break down. I’ve been proud, actually. Normally, I say I’m going to give something up and in 20 minutes I’m eating it.

Already I can feel my body is less heavy feeling after meals, my stomach isn’t cramping, and I’m less overall sore all day. Fibromyalgia is a bitch, lemme tell you.

So, perhaps this will help many issues. I’ve also been told Gluten is another evil to those suffering from Fibromyalgia. This is something I’m not ready to give up. I’ve been on the Atkins diet (yes, I know it’s not the same thing but right now bread is bread and my bread has gluten) and my mood was not great. I am addicted to bread, dairy has less attachment to me as I already am used to not drinking milk or eating lots of dairy at one time…normally. I think what else helped was my best friend talking about puss and blood in dairy when they milk cows. I couldn't get that out of my head. Eeek!

Here’s to 4 days of a good job and hoping I continue!